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We all have people whom we find difficult. We don't understand them, connect with them, or even talk comfortably with them. But, when we own a one person business, seeing someone as difficult gets in the way of our selling effectively and their buying wisely.

It is easy to blame the other person. They're the difficult ones. But, the truth is, if you find someone difficult, for sure they will find you just as difficult. And, if you're difficult they won't want to work with you. They'll take their business elsewhere.

It's just human nature to dig in our heals when we're irritated. We want them to change. We want them to be like the folks we find easy to deal with. And they feel the same way. They dig in their heals too. They want us to change. Then when we don't change they leave. They won't buy, even if we have the perfect solution to their needs.

Selling to difficult people works best when we step back and let them set the stage for our sales call. Follow their pace. Give them information in the way they best understand Speak to their needs. When we start where they are it is more likely we will lead them to the sale.

Sally told her prospects so much, so fast, everyone was overwhelmed. She was stuck on fast forward. She truly believed the faster the sales presentation, the more sales a day she could make. Yet when she finally slowed down, she made fewer presentations but many more sales.

Sally's mistake was meeting her own comfort and needs, not her customers' comfort and wants. If she had focused on her customers' comfort and wants, she would more easily close the sale.

The easiest customers to be with are people like us. Selling to someone not like us is harder. We have to choose how to approach them.

Most fast paced, high energy sales people prefer fast paced prospects. If this prospect is task oriented, they quickly cut to the bottom line. No small talk here. Give the facts first and fast. You have what they want, they buy. You don't have it, they leave, often with a disparaging remark as the door closes behind them.

If your high energy prospect is people oriented you may think a new best friend just walked in. They chat, ask about your family, your life, your business, but not what they are looking for. Be friendly, but take charge of the conversation. Turn the questions to what they want, how you can help them, how they will use your products. Be assumptive with your close. Tell them about your return policy to give them a way out. (They won't take it but are reassured that it is there!)

Slow paced prospects challenge fast paced entrepreneurs. Slow down! Slow both your body and your words. Be prepared with details and specifications. Focus on the product, not small talk. Don't take the penetrating, demanding questions personally. They really do want to know the subtleties and nuances. Don't let their silences unnerve you. It takes them time to think through buying decisions. They need to be thorough to be right.

By taking the time to analyze just which customers and prospective clients give you trouble, which you find difficult, you will be prepared for them the next time you want to sell to them. Preparation pays off. Think about who you have difficulty selling. Then spend some time developing a script to use with them. Practice words that start where they are, and lead them to a closed sale.

Then, when you recognize one of your difficult prospects, take a deep breath, reassure yourself you know what to do, and put into action your preparation and practice.

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One of the biggest challenges all sellers face is that we know our own products and services so well that we assume other people automatically understand us when we're talking about them. Or, we assume that they interpret the words we use in exactly the same way we meant them.

Not so, I recently rediscovered. Last month I wrote about "value" in my newsletter. I am grateful to the reader who wrote telling me he was confused about how I defined value because I never specifically addressed it in the article.

So what is "value?" This time I'll try to be more explicit - to give you a definition that's perfectly clear.

Here it is: Value is relative. It's in the eye of the beholder. Your customer decides whether something is of value to them - not you or your company. If they perceive something to be valuable, then it is.

Basically though, customers can be segmented into three different types - based on their perceptions of value. For some, the value is intrinsic to the product or service, for others it's in how the product is used, and for another group it's in the strategic relationship between the two organizations.

Let's take a more in-depth look at each of these value segments:

COMMODITY BUYER

These buyers know exactly what they want and how to use it. They don't need sellers to explain the details. Commodity buyers typically value:

• Low costs - They don't want to pay any more than necessary. To be successful with these buyers, companies need to pull as many costs as they can out of their supply chain.
• No hassles - Make it simple, simple, simple to do business with your company. Give them an 800 number, send them a quick quote, or allow them to easily order on-line and they're happy.

I'm a commodity buyer when I order things like contact lenses and office supplies. As a seller, there's little you can do to create value except make it cheaper, simpler to order, delivered to my door and with easy returns if I need to send it back.

STRATEGIC PARTNER

These people are looking far beyond the scope of your products or services - they want a strategic partnership. They're looking at how to best leverage their organization's core competencies in combination with another company's core competencies. These buyers value:

• Intimate and strategic relationships between multiple levels within both organizations.
• Mutual investments in joint projects.

Merging of systems to accomplish more than either organization could do alone. Working with Strategic Partner buyers requires a major corporate commitment and is far beyond the scope of any one seller. If your company isn't capable or willing to do this, these buyers aren't interested in working with you. By yourself, you can't create the value they need.

"I NEED TO MAKE A SOUND DECISION" BUYER

These buyers are either spending a lot of money on a decision or they don't know everything there is to know about what they're buying. Typically their decision process is complex, involves multiple decision makers and takes place over an extended period of time.

With these buyers, sellers can create a great deal of value by what they personally bring to the relationship. These buyers value sellers who:

• Help them understand their problems in greater depth.
• Add additional insights into the challenges they face.
• Share relevant information regarding "best practices."
• Develop unique, innovative approaches to resolving their business issues.
• Keep them up-to-date on trends in the industry and how others are addressing them.
• Help them find ways around the obstacles they're encountering, and
• Propose new ways to do more with the same investment.

These are just a few of the things these buyers value. But let me be even more specific. The reader who asked me to define value is from a company that handles direct mailing programs. Here are some ways he could create value for his customers:

• Share ideas about other company's direct mail programs - what works, what doesn't.
• Help them find ways to increase the results of their existing direct mail programs.
• Show them how to reduce the overall costs of the program while maintaining its effectiveness and integrity.
• Let them know what their competitors are doing.
• Develop ways to increase the quality of their database.
• Work collaboratively with related vendors (i.e. agencies, telemarketing firms) to smooth out the hand-offs.
• Help them establish important criteria for their vendor selection process that they currently may not be aware of.
• Propose ideas for new programs to help them achieve their desired marketing results.
• Act as an advocate within his own organization on issues impacting the customer.
• Suggest ways to improve the workflow between all companies and internal departments working on the project.

This is what selling is in the new sales paradigm. To be successful with the "I Want to Make a Sound Decision" Buyers, you must bring more to the relationship than just your standard product or service. You must create value with each and every customer interaction.

If you do this, then even though your customer could buy your offering cheaper somewhere else, they will want to keep you around. Your ideas, insights, and knowledge are invaluable to them.

So when I talk about creating value, that's what I mean!

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Jill Konrath, President of Selling to Big Companies and Leapfrog- Strategies Inc., helps sellers create value, differentiation and demand in competitive markets. For info on speaking, training or consulting services, please call 651-429-1922 or email us at jill@sellingtobigcompanies.com.